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Sat, Aug. 3rd, 2013, 03:43 pm
you're killing me, smalls

Your answer was the only one I didn't expect. You felt the same way, but you're still working through things, and More Than Friends isn't something you think you can do right now.

Fine. I've waited all this time, I can keep waiting. No worries.

Then you disappeared. Rather then pester you (because I feel it would be pestering), I've waited for you to write back since the conversational ball has been in your court. Except for Tuesday night, while out having drinks with my sister. "I've been drinking so this may not be a good idea, though it seems like a great one now. I don't expect a reply because you're so busy. I miss you so hard, and still can't stop thinking about you." That's all I said. There was no passive-aggressive emphasis on the "so busy" part.

I still haven't heard from you, and it's been a week as of yesterday. Gave up on you Thursday, accepted defeat, and was just sad.

Then you invaded my dreams last night, along on every adventure, gladly holding tight and not letting me go till I took you home for the night. I was on cloud nine. When I saw you the next day, still in the dream, you refused to look at me. I had to get up in your face and demand to know why you couldn't meet my eyes, what had changed, why were you angry at me when I hadn't seen you or done anything in those few sleeping hours. With eyes shot red with hurt and anger, you explained. For the life of me, I can't remember what you said, but it turned out to have been a misunderstanding, and I answered the questions you had. With relief radiating off you, we hugged and all was well, There the dream ended. Now I'm sad again.

I suppose it's a good thing I never got to request the whole pdbmh thing, because (like most people) you'd have said "of course not" or some such. No reason to stack miseries.

ybmh :/